One month...

Tomorrow will mark one month...
I never thought I would make it this far. Never.
It was just a dream that I thought would never become a reality.
Now it has and I am forced to look back and reflect on what I have gone through...
Tonight is a very difficult night for me.
It is probably a night I will never forget.
Am I happy?
No
But am I glad that I made it?
Absolutely
Sometimes I feel like my whole world is spinning and I can only ask the question...How did I get here?...How did I reach this point in my life?
I thought that if I succeeded with my goal everything would be right again...everything would be normal...but now I find that is not the case at all.
How can you come so far yet feel like you really haven't moved that far at all?
Part of me wants to say that everything will be alright.
But the rest me knows the truth.
I still have a long way to go.
I pray to God to give me the strength for the difficult road ahead.
I refuse to let myself go back because I know I am weak.
I am not strong enough.
I can't fall back down into the pit.
I have struggled and fought my way to where I am now and even though it may only be a few feet off the ground of a seemingly endless climb, every now and then I am able to catch a glimpse of a light at the end of my deep and dark tunnel.
Even though it is just for a brief moment, I treasure it.
I have to keep my eyes on the prize.
I refuse to go back.
I refuse.