As you may have noticed, I deleted my last post. I went to check my blog and I read it over and realized that I no longer feel the same way. Sure I am still afraid and I still have a long journey ahead of me, but I don't feel so lost. This sudden epiphany came late one night when I laying in my room looking up at my glow in the dark stars listening to the Casting Crowns song "Praise You In This Storm." I was thinking about my past and the troublesome and miserable week I had been having and how it was about to be a full week since I had talked to the one person I thought I couldn't make it without when it suddenly hit me like a brick wall....I did what I thought I couldn't do. I was forced to stand on my own and be alone and I did it. I survived. Sure I had been miserable but I made it through. I broke down into tears as I realized for the first time in months that I finally believed in myself. I finally believe I will eventually be okay. I know the road is long and I will probably stumble the whole way but I will make it. I refuse to go in reverse anymore. I guarantee I will probably screw up from time to time but I have finally learned to forgive myself and move on. No one is perfect and I am not an exception to the rule. I have also learned that people will always fail me. There is only one sure thing in my life and that is God. For awhile now I have questioned God and even turned my back on him but in that quiet moment of solitude I realized that God is still God no matter where I am in my life and he still loves me and will never forsake me. I may not understand why something happens but I have to trust that it is for the best. I truly believe that all I have gone through will make me a stronger and better person. Who knows? Someday I may be able to help someone else because of what I have been through. For now though I will put my trust in God. As the song I was listening to says, "I hear you whisper through the rain, I am with you." God whispered to me that night and helped me to find the inner strength I thought I had lost a long time ago.
I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
One month...
Tomorrow will mark one month...
I never thought I would make it this far. Never.
It was just a dream that I thought would never become a reality.
Now it has and I am forced to look back and reflect on what I have gone through...
Tonight is a very difficult night for me.
It is probably a night I will never forget.
Am I happy?
No
But am I glad that I made it?
Absolutely
Sometimes I feel like my whole world is spinning and I can only ask the question...How did I get here?...How did I reach this point in my life?
I thought that if I succeeded with my goal everything would be right again...everything would be normal...but now I find that is not the case at all.
How can you come so far yet feel like you really haven't moved that far at all?
Part of me wants to say that everything will be alright.
But the rest me knows the truth.
I still have a long way to go.
I pray to God to give me the strength for the difficult road ahead.
I refuse to let myself go back because I know I am weak.
I am not strong enough.
I can't fall back down into the pit.
I have struggled and fought my way to where I am now and even though it may only be a few feet off the ground of a seemingly endless climb, every now and then I am able to catch a glimpse of a light at the end of my deep and dark tunnel.
Even though it is just for a brief moment, I treasure it.
I have to keep my eyes on the prize.
I refuse to go back.
I refuse.
I never thought I would make it this far. Never.
It was just a dream that I thought would never become a reality.
Now it has and I am forced to look back and reflect on what I have gone through...
Tonight is a very difficult night for me.
It is probably a night I will never forget.
Am I happy?
No
But am I glad that I made it?
Absolutely
Sometimes I feel like my whole world is spinning and I can only ask the question...How did I get here?...How did I reach this point in my life?
I thought that if I succeeded with my goal everything would be right again...everything would be normal...but now I find that is not the case at all.
How can you come so far yet feel like you really haven't moved that far at all?
Part of me wants to say that everything will be alright.
But the rest me knows the truth.
I still have a long way to go.
I pray to God to give me the strength for the difficult road ahead.
I refuse to let myself go back because I know I am weak.
I am not strong enough.
I can't fall back down into the pit.
I have struggled and fought my way to where I am now and even though it may only be a few feet off the ground of a seemingly endless climb, every now and then I am able to catch a glimpse of a light at the end of my deep and dark tunnel.
Even though it is just for a brief moment, I treasure it.
I have to keep my eyes on the prize.
I refuse to go back.
I refuse.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Creepy Santa, Wal-Mart bags, Bacon, a Laptop, and oh yea...Freezing COLD Weather!!!!!!
So I know I haven't blogged for awhile....but I have been really busy plus I haven't had a lot to write about...well...I finally do. Black Friday.
Every year my mom and I go to Springfield to go shopping on Black Friday and I normally love it. It is usually the highlight of my whole Thanksgiving vacation. Well this year, I would have to say it was the most miserable Black Friday of my life. This year we decided to do something new....go up the night before and camp out at Best Buy. In past years it was always small stuff we were after like mp3 players or satellite radios but nothing over $200. This year however, since I am a senior, my grandma had given me the money to buy a laptop which would be my graduation gift. Well, I found the perfect one in the ad from Best Buy. It was a Sony VAIO worth $839.99 and it came with a laptop bag, a printer and anti-spyware software all for $499. I was stoked! But there was a slight problem...the ad said that the store would only be guaranteed to have 3 packages because it was such a good deal. So...mom and I decided to go up on Thursday night. Originally we said we would get there at about 10pm, but then we changed our minds as the time drew near. We ended up leaving at about 4 oclock. We stopped in Mountain Grove to get gas and some the hand warmers from the camping department that probably ended up saving our fingers from frostbite. I was really excited on our way to Springfield, afterall I was getting a laptop! But what I did not anticipate was just how cold it was going to be. I still don't know how I made it through the night. I mean sure...before I left I put on two pairs of pants, three pairs of socks, three shirts, and a hoodie...plus I brought several more layers and blankets but it still wasn't enough. There is a point at which addition layers or blankets will not make you any warmer. I am convinced that hell is not a place of fire and brimstone...no....hell is a place where it is as cold as it can be....because I am sure it is far more torturous to be out in extreme cold than extreme heat. Anyway....so when we got to Springfield I was pumped. When we got to Best Buy however, I was speechless. There were already a ton of people in line!!! I had been hoping we could stay in the truck for a couple of hours before we had to get out and get in line...but no....we had to get in line immediately. So we got our chairs and set them up along the wall right passed Chuckie Cheese's and right behind a couple with a tent even though it clearly said on posters on the wall that tents were not allowed. Within minutes I was already shaking! I was so cold....I honestly thought we would have to give up and get a hotel room before the night was over! After a brief few moments I left mom to guard our spot and went to the truck to get all of my additional layers. I put on coveralls, gloves, a hat, snowboots, and a huge fluffy winter coat....believe me it still wasn't enough. After we had been sitting out there about 30 minutes or so the line had continued to grow and we introduced ourselves to the people around us. There were two girls beside us who when they first introduced themselves the asked if we were from West Plains...and my mom said that she worked there and they said they were the Quiznos girls and they had seen my mom there before. After a little while it dawned on me who one of the girls was. Her name was Kayla and I had gone to school with her at Richards for years in West Plains. She was a year older than me and we had played softball together in the sixth and seventh grades. We weren't close friends by any means, but I still remembered her and I even remembered that she was our catcher! It was neat that even though we were in Springfield among thousands of people Black Friday shopping we ended up sitting next to someone we knew. At about 7 oclock a Best Buy worker came down the line and wrote down what items everyone was after. He also told us that we were 81st in line. The rest of the night passed very slowly. It just continued to grow colder and colder. Mom and I would take turns going to the truck every hour or so for about ten minutes to warm up but it really didn't help that much. As soon as I came back from the truck I would start shaking and my teeth would start chattering...then after about thrity minutes I would get so cold and numb that I couldn't feel anything and I would stop shaking. The night continued on and with the later hours came brief bursts of activity among the crowd and society. For example, at one point the creepiest Santa I have ever seen came down the line asking people if they had a light for his cigarette. The Hooter's girls also came by and gave out free hot chocolate. Then randomly people would drive by and shout about how crazy we all were for staying out in the cold. Luckily the police were there to keep order, but one car got away with something outrageous....it was a station wagon that looked like the owner had tried to pimp it out with tinted windows and a loud exhaust. As it came buy there rolled down the window and through what I am sure was a stink bomb because immediately the intense odor of rotten eggs was present. So to add to the worst night of my life it now smelled. But luckily it went away after a few minutes. I was very thankful that Lindsey texted me throughout the night too...it kept me from getting too bored. But everytime I would go to text it was painful because I had to take my fingers out of my gloves which had the hand warmers in them. At about midnight I had to go to the bathroom...BAD!!!! and since we had taken my mom's truck which is a standard I couldn't drive it anywhere to go to the bathroom....so I was forced to do the one thing that I loathed more than anything else...I had to use the porta-potty!!!!! UGH!!!! And to make matters worse I had so many layers on that I had to take half of my clothes off before I could even use it!!! I was disgusted by it...but I was literally in pain I had to go to the bathroom so bad. So I worked up the courage and went. It was nasty, but relieving. There is no telling how many diseases I could have gotten from that one experience. Anyway...at about 1am the boys two groups down from us who were probably high school seniors and one of which was pretty cute....started making bacon and eggs with the propane tank they had brought! I was starving!!!! It smelled sooooo good....but I couldn't have any. :( At 2am everyone started packing up their stuff and taking it out to their vehicles, because at 3am they were going to start giving out the vouchers for the big ticket items like my laptop. So the line, which by the way was way passed Petsmart by then, moved forward as people squished together and moved towards the door. My feet were killing me...they had gotten so cold I am pretty sure they were in the beginning stages of frostbite. At 3am it was chaos as they came out with the vouchers..."who needs a tv?" Hands flew into the air and people crowded around the employee with the tv vouchers. Others asked when the laptop vouchers were coming. Finally we heard "Who needs a Sony laptop?" I jumped into action and raised my hand. By the time the employee was down to me I asked her if it was the package or the laptop they had for $399 which was almost the exact same without the printer, bag, or spyare blocker. She said they had ran out of the package but she had one more for the $399 laptop. So I snatched it. I was overjoyed! That piece of paper guaranteed that I would be getting a laptop and even though it wasn't the package it was almost the exact same computer and it was cheap! After all the vouchers were handed out, the personal shopping assistants came out for the first 100 people in line....each assistant was assigned to three people. Our assistant's name was Sarah. She asked us what all we wanted and we told her that we wanted the laptop and a wireless router and a printer which after the purchase of the laptop was only $30! So Sarah went inside and gathered all the stuff so at 5am when we went it would be ready to go...at 4:30am they handed out Krispy Kreme doughnuts which I was so thankful for because I was starving! At 5 a sigh of relieve came as the doors were opened. Ky3 was there to interview people and do a report, but I was more concerned about my laptop and more importantly the warmth of the store. We were in and out! I bought my laptop and I was so happy! Afterwards we went to IHOP where we saw Miss Landsdown and enjoyed a delicious warm breakfast before continuing shopping for the rest of the day. The rest of the day was successful a and I ended up going back to Best Buy and getting a laptop bag and wireless mouse. I fell asleep on the way home and I was ready to take a shower and sleep when I came home. But I ended up playing with my laptop until 7 oclock when I finally went to sleep after being up for 37.5 hours! Was ir worth it? Now that I am warm and have my laptop I will say it was all worth it, but if you had asked me the same question anytime during the 11 hours I would outside I would have said no.
I am not camping out next year, but I am glad I did this year because now I have an awesome new toy! :)
Every year my mom and I go to Springfield to go shopping on Black Friday and I normally love it. It is usually the highlight of my whole Thanksgiving vacation. Well this year, I would have to say it was the most miserable Black Friday of my life. This year we decided to do something new....go up the night before and camp out at Best Buy. In past years it was always small stuff we were after like mp3 players or satellite radios but nothing over $200. This year however, since I am a senior, my grandma had given me the money to buy a laptop which would be my graduation gift. Well, I found the perfect one in the ad from Best Buy. It was a Sony VAIO worth $839.99 and it came with a laptop bag, a printer and anti-spyware software all for $499. I was stoked! But there was a slight problem...the ad said that the store would only be guaranteed to have 3 packages because it was such a good deal. So...mom and I decided to go up on Thursday night. Originally we said we would get there at about 10pm, but then we changed our minds as the time drew near. We ended up leaving at about 4 oclock. We stopped in Mountain Grove to get gas and some the hand warmers from the camping department that probably ended up saving our fingers from frostbite. I was really excited on our way to Springfield, afterall I was getting a laptop! But what I did not anticipate was just how cold it was going to be. I still don't know how I made it through the night. I mean sure...before I left I put on two pairs of pants, three pairs of socks, three shirts, and a hoodie...plus I brought several more layers and blankets but it still wasn't enough. There is a point at which addition layers or blankets will not make you any warmer. I am convinced that hell is not a place of fire and brimstone...no....hell is a place where it is as cold as it can be....because I am sure it is far more torturous to be out in extreme cold than extreme heat. Anyway....so when we got to Springfield I was pumped. When we got to Best Buy however, I was speechless. There were already a ton of people in line!!! I had been hoping we could stay in the truck for a couple of hours before we had to get out and get in line...but no....we had to get in line immediately. So we got our chairs and set them up along the wall right passed Chuckie Cheese's and right behind a couple with a tent even though it clearly said on posters on the wall that tents were not allowed. Within minutes I was already shaking! I was so cold....I honestly thought we would have to give up and get a hotel room before the night was over! After a brief few moments I left mom to guard our spot and went to the truck to get all of my additional layers. I put on coveralls, gloves, a hat, snowboots, and a huge fluffy winter coat....believe me it still wasn't enough. After we had been sitting out there about 30 minutes or so the line had continued to grow and we introduced ourselves to the people around us. There were two girls beside us who when they first introduced themselves the asked if we were from West Plains...and my mom said that she worked there and they said they were the Quiznos girls and they had seen my mom there before. After a little while it dawned on me who one of the girls was. Her name was Kayla and I had gone to school with her at Richards for years in West Plains. She was a year older than me and we had played softball together in the sixth and seventh grades. We weren't close friends by any means, but I still remembered her and I even remembered that she was our catcher! It was neat that even though we were in Springfield among thousands of people Black Friday shopping we ended up sitting next to someone we knew. At about 7 oclock a Best Buy worker came down the line and wrote down what items everyone was after. He also told us that we were 81st in line. The rest of the night passed very slowly. It just continued to grow colder and colder. Mom and I would take turns going to the truck every hour or so for about ten minutes to warm up but it really didn't help that much. As soon as I came back from the truck I would start shaking and my teeth would start chattering...then after about thrity minutes I would get so cold and numb that I couldn't feel anything and I would stop shaking. The night continued on and with the later hours came brief bursts of activity among the crowd and society. For example, at one point the creepiest Santa I have ever seen came down the line asking people if they had a light for his cigarette. The Hooter's girls also came by and gave out free hot chocolate. Then randomly people would drive by and shout about how crazy we all were for staying out in the cold. Luckily the police were there to keep order, but one car got away with something outrageous....it was a station wagon that looked like the owner had tried to pimp it out with tinted windows and a loud exhaust. As it came buy there rolled down the window and through what I am sure was a stink bomb because immediately the intense odor of rotten eggs was present. So to add to the worst night of my life it now smelled. But luckily it went away after a few minutes. I was very thankful that Lindsey texted me throughout the night too...it kept me from getting too bored. But everytime I would go to text it was painful because I had to take my fingers out of my gloves which had the hand warmers in them. At about midnight I had to go to the bathroom...BAD!!!! and since we had taken my mom's truck which is a standard I couldn't drive it anywhere to go to the bathroom....so I was forced to do the one thing that I loathed more than anything else...I had to use the porta-potty!!!!! UGH!!!! And to make matters worse I had so many layers on that I had to take half of my clothes off before I could even use it!!! I was disgusted by it...but I was literally in pain I had to go to the bathroom so bad. So I worked up the courage and went. It was nasty, but relieving. There is no telling how many diseases I could have gotten from that one experience. Anyway...at about 1am the boys two groups down from us who were probably high school seniors and one of which was pretty cute....started making bacon and eggs with the propane tank they had brought! I was starving!!!! It smelled sooooo good....but I couldn't have any. :( At 2am everyone started packing up their stuff and taking it out to their vehicles, because at 3am they were going to start giving out the vouchers for the big ticket items like my laptop. So the line, which by the way was way passed Petsmart by then, moved forward as people squished together and moved towards the door. My feet were killing me...they had gotten so cold I am pretty sure they were in the beginning stages of frostbite. At 3am it was chaos as they came out with the vouchers..."who needs a tv?" Hands flew into the air and people crowded around the employee with the tv vouchers. Others asked when the laptop vouchers were coming. Finally we heard "Who needs a Sony laptop?" I jumped into action and raised my hand. By the time the employee was down to me I asked her if it was the package or the laptop they had for $399 which was almost the exact same without the printer, bag, or spyare blocker. She said they had ran out of the package but she had one more for the $399 laptop. So I snatched it. I was overjoyed! That piece of paper guaranteed that I would be getting a laptop and even though it wasn't the package it was almost the exact same computer and it was cheap! After all the vouchers were handed out, the personal shopping assistants came out for the first 100 people in line....each assistant was assigned to three people. Our assistant's name was Sarah. She asked us what all we wanted and we told her that we wanted the laptop and a wireless router and a printer which after the purchase of the laptop was only $30! So Sarah went inside and gathered all the stuff so at 5am when we went it would be ready to go...at 4:30am they handed out Krispy Kreme doughnuts which I was so thankful for because I was starving! At 5 a sigh of relieve came as the doors were opened. Ky3 was there to interview people and do a report, but I was more concerned about my laptop and more importantly the warmth of the store. We were in and out! I bought my laptop and I was so happy! Afterwards we went to IHOP where we saw Miss Landsdown and enjoyed a delicious warm breakfast before continuing shopping for the rest of the day. The rest of the day was successful a and I ended up going back to Best Buy and getting a laptop bag and wireless mouse. I fell asleep on the way home and I was ready to take a shower and sleep when I came home. But I ended up playing with my laptop until 7 oclock when I finally went to sleep after being up for 37.5 hours! Was ir worth it? Now that I am warm and have my laptop I will say it was all worth it, but if you had asked me the same question anytime during the 11 hours I would outside I would have said no.
I am not camping out next year, but I am glad I did this year because now I have an awesome new toy! :)
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
There once was a volleyball coach.....
There once was a volleyball coach,
Who decided it was time to stop teaching girls how to pass and approach.
But she couldn't stay away from the sport,
so she traveled to the volleyball court.
She found the team practicing there,
spot hitting at a chair.
All she could do was scowl,
and every word that came out of her mouth was foul. : )
After five minutes of standing to the side,
many mistakes she spied.
"Speed up your arm swing," she screamed,
with this advice, into the floor the ball was creamed.
After a few more minutes of watching them hit had passed,
she decided it was time to go get an oreo blast.
So with a good bye wave,
we knew she would back another day to rant and rave.
Who decided it was time to stop teaching girls how to pass and approach.
But she couldn't stay away from the sport,
so she traveled to the volleyball court.
She found the team practicing there,
spot hitting at a chair.
All she could do was scowl,
and every word that came out of her mouth was foul. : )
After five minutes of standing to the side,
many mistakes she spied.
"Speed up your arm swing," she screamed,
with this advice, into the floor the ball was creamed.
After a few more minutes of watching them hit had passed,
she decided it was time to go get an oreo blast.
So with a good bye wave,
we knew she would back another day to rant and rave.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Help! I am drowning....
Usually I am a very happy person and I am always optimistic, but these past three days I have really felt like I am being held underwater and I can't breathe. It seems like everytime I just about reach the surface something gets in my way and pushes me farther under. I feel like I can't win. No matter what I do, I will not come out on top. It all started Friday with a series of bad things happening that caused me to have a bad day. For starters, the Mac that I edit news on for KWSB crashed which really frustrated me because I lost all of the work I had been doing. So I started over again capturing all of the video again and then five minutes later, the camera's battery died and I couldn't capture anymore. So this put me in a not so good mood. Then later on that night I witnessed one of my co-workers give over one hundred dollars worth of groceries away and there was nothing I could do about it except wait to tell my boss on Sunday. Finally, later on that night when I came home my mom and I got into it about work and how I don't get to go to church. Saturday morning though, I woke up feeling optimistic about my volleyball tournament that day. Well, we lost and Coach Lee was not happy. This saddened me, but what really upset me was the conversation I had with Coach Lee after the tournament was over. I had to explain to her why I couldn't go to the Eminence game tonight but she already knew the situation so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Well, she basically made me defend myself and justify why I couldn't go. I felt like she didn't believe me. I wouldn't just skip a game. I mean I am missing my game right now and I wish I was there playing but I couldn't go to that game because mentally I would not be there. I would be in a state of fear and worry. I walked out of the building after talking to her and I broke down into tears. I was so angry and upset. I am still really upset, to the point of I don't want to see her again and I just want to quit volleyball. Anyway....after that I figured that Sunday had to be a better day because the previous two had sucked, but sure enough it proved to suck too. I had to tell my boss about my co-worker and friend who had given away groceries. Then I had to take apart a soda machine and put it back together again. Finally, my replacement was late and when we counted the drawer, it was 300 dollars over! Well, I thought surely today will be better. Nope, guess again. I have never been asked so many times in all my life "Are you pumped for the game tonight?" It stung everytime because I knew that I wasn't going but I would just say yes because I didn't want to have to explain the situation over and over again. I mean these past few days I have thought countless times about the part of my past that I have tried so hard to erase from my mind. It depresses me too. I mean, I know I have come a long way from that time in my life but it is always haunting me. In the Bible it says you have to forgive to be forgiven, but it is so hard for me to forgive someone who hurt my family so much. Does this mean I am going to hell? I don't know. It's a question that plagues me. It sounds so easy in writing: Just forgive him. But talking the talk and walking the walk are two seperate things. I can say that I forgive him but do I truly in my heart? Honestly I can't say yes yet. Anyway to make my day even better, I came home from school because I was not going to the game and there was a letter from the Missouri Higher Education Department. I opened it up and skimming it I saw the words "Bright Flight." I was excited because I thought this would be a letter informing me that I would receive it since I had gotten a 30 on the ACT. Nope....instead it was to inform me that they raised the standards. To get bright flight you have to score in the top 3 percent of all missouri students taking the test and now that is a 31 not a 30. So now I have to retake the test and hopefully get a 31. This did not add to my already pleasant mood.
So now I am sitting here writing this blog with a huge headache that I got three days ago from all of the stress and which no amount of ibprofen will take away, thinking about the volleyball game I am missing, and wondering when my life will take a turn for the better. I hope soon. : )
So now I am sitting here writing this blog with a huge headache that I got three days ago from all of the stress and which no amount of ibprofen will take away, thinking about the volleyball game I am missing, and wondering when my life will take a turn for the better. I hope soon. : )
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Warm Up Writing....
Almost everyday at the start of class in College Comp. Coach Daugherty has us sit and write about basically whatever we want for five minutes or so...I absolutely love it.... most of my writings end up being extremely random. Coach Daugherty suggested that I put them on my blog so decided it was time I did that!
August 16, 2007
Blue Powerade and Toy Story 2
*I am looking forward to my internship next block with Mrs. Pitts.
I know that I am a slacker.
I enjoy this fact.
Sometimes.
I woke up at two fifty this morning and was craving powerade, so I got up and went to the kitchen and I got a glass with some ice in it. Then I poured myself a delicious glass of blue powerade.
On my way back to my room I decided that I wanted a doughnut.
I chose a very tasty cake doughnut from Krispy Kreme.
I went back to my room but I was not tired.
*I decided to watch Toy Story 2.
I fell asleep half way through it.
My half eaten doughnut was still on my pillow.
I woke up at four and decided to finish my doughnut.
It was amazing.
Then I fell asleep.
August 22, 2007
Moldy Planner
This morning I woke up and my mom made me waffles.
I like waffles.
I like bacon too!
I don’t like the fact that my planner is molding.
That does not make me happy.
It is soaked in red vault.
I like red vault, but not when it is all over my planner.
I guess I should buy a new one, or I guess I could steal some freshman’s planner.
Yes, that is what I will do.
They will never know what hit them.
Hahahahahahahaha
Then I will trashcan them just to show them who rules the school.
Okay maybe not.
But I will take their planner.
I love vanilla dr. pepper!
My back hurts from volleyball.
I am getting way too old for it.
I need a chiropractor.
Class officer elections are today.
I hope I win.
I think I will vote for myself.
I need to go by work and buy a powerball ticket!245 million would be sweet!!!!!
Although I can’t legally win it, I would just let my mom claim it.
I would buy a new car.
Speaking of new cars, I am going this Saturday to look for one in Springfield.
This excites me.
So does the fact that I don’t have to work on Saturday.
I don’t know how I am going to make a car payment though.
I only work two days a week because of volleyball.
I only have ten bucks in my bank account.
Where did all my money go?
I worked my butt off this summer but it is all gone.
I can’t tell my mom I am poor though.
She will be angry.
I will not be allowed to go out and see my friends if she is angry.
So I will keep the fact I am poor my dirty little secret.
I need to blog.
I like blogging.
Hmmmmmm…
I want to pop bubble wrap
And drink a chocolate milkshake.
August 24, 2007
Ham and cheddar…hot sauce makes it better!
I need to find a new car tomorrow.
Hopefully I will be able to.
I wanted to sell it before the odometer hit 100,000 miles but it will surely hit that before I make it to Springfield tomorrow.
I don’t want to go to work tonight, although we got a new lottery machine! SWEET!!!!
I am very sore from volleyball.
My back hurts.
I need a chiropractor.
Our first game is Monday night against Plato.
We better win!
Hopefully this will be a good season.
I want to take a nap!
I had to be at practice at six this morning.
Ugh…..
I want a vault. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……vault!
I need to deposit my paycheck before it gets lost in the depths of my car.
My car isn’t that dirty.
But I guess I should clean it before tomorrow.
Both Lindsey and Amber told me they were surprised I didn’t have mice in my car.
I don’t think it is that bad.
Although, there is the crunchy part of crab Rangoon on the floor.
Mmmmmmmmm…..crab Rangoon!
I need to do my summer journals.
That is a fact.
September 4, 2007
All I want for Christmas is knee replacement surgery.
My knee hurts.
I believe I injured it in volleyball.
It swelled up and had a bunch of fluid in it over the weekend.
It’s a dull throbbing pain.
I worked too much over the three day weekend.
I didn’t really get to enjoy it.
I worked 27 hours.
4 on Friday, 7 on Saturday, 8 on Sunday, and 8 on Monday
It sucked.
I was exhausted Saturday night.
I partied hard that night!!!
Not really…
I fell asleep at 8:30.
I had to be at work at 7am on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday!
Ugh…..
That’s all I have to say about that!I almost have my summer journals done! WOOT!
I have moved up to Crew boss on mobsters! This excites me! Watch out coach Daugherty!
I need to write my essay for Bev.
What is up with this?
I never have homework in Bev’s class!!!I need to clean my room.
There is no time to clean my room, so it will stay a mess.
Everything that was in my old car is now on the floor of my room.
If you know me, you understand what that means.
I can barely walk through my room!lol
Mike at work told me I should take a year off before I go to college and become deli manager at Town and Country.
No thanks Mike, I have plans for my future and that doesn’t include working at Town and Country til I die.
I didn’t play the lottery at all yesterday!
But I did on Saturday and Sunday…
I lost.
I cried.
Not really.
I want to go to the river.
I like swimming.
This weekend I was the queen of saying things that didn’t come out right and they sounded bad.
Lindsey came over and we were watching the Simpsons in my room and I heard the shower start and I said “Oh it must be family shower time!”
That sounded wrong.
What I meant was that my brother was taking his shower then my step brother would take his and then my step sister after that.
Lindsey didn’t help the situation.
She said “Do you need to go?”I died laughing
Major ROTFL
I love acronyms! Lol
August 16, 2007
Blue Powerade and Toy Story 2
*I am looking forward to my internship next block with Mrs. Pitts.
I know that I am a slacker.
I enjoy this fact.
Sometimes.
I woke up at two fifty this morning and was craving powerade, so I got up and went to the kitchen and I got a glass with some ice in it. Then I poured myself a delicious glass of blue powerade.
On my way back to my room I decided that I wanted a doughnut.
I chose a very tasty cake doughnut from Krispy Kreme.
I went back to my room but I was not tired.
*I decided to watch Toy Story 2.
I fell asleep half way through it.
My half eaten doughnut was still on my pillow.
I woke up at four and decided to finish my doughnut.
It was amazing.
Then I fell asleep.
August 22, 2007
Moldy Planner
This morning I woke up and my mom made me waffles.
I like waffles.
I like bacon too!
I don’t like the fact that my planner is molding.
That does not make me happy.
It is soaked in red vault.
I like red vault, but not when it is all over my planner.
I guess I should buy a new one, or I guess I could steal some freshman’s planner.
Yes, that is what I will do.
They will never know what hit them.
Hahahahahahahaha
Then I will trashcan them just to show them who rules the school.
Okay maybe not.
But I will take their planner.
I love vanilla dr. pepper!
My back hurts from volleyball.
I am getting way too old for it.
I need a chiropractor.
Class officer elections are today.
I hope I win.
I think I will vote for myself.
I need to go by work and buy a powerball ticket!245 million would be sweet!!!!!
Although I can’t legally win it, I would just let my mom claim it.
I would buy a new car.
Speaking of new cars, I am going this Saturday to look for one in Springfield.
This excites me.
So does the fact that I don’t have to work on Saturday.
I don’t know how I am going to make a car payment though.
I only work two days a week because of volleyball.
I only have ten bucks in my bank account.
Where did all my money go?
I worked my butt off this summer but it is all gone.
I can’t tell my mom I am poor though.
She will be angry.
I will not be allowed to go out and see my friends if she is angry.
So I will keep the fact I am poor my dirty little secret.
I need to blog.
I like blogging.
Hmmmmmm…
I want to pop bubble wrap
And drink a chocolate milkshake.
August 24, 2007
Ham and cheddar…hot sauce makes it better!
I need to find a new car tomorrow.
Hopefully I will be able to.
I wanted to sell it before the odometer hit 100,000 miles but it will surely hit that before I make it to Springfield tomorrow.
I don’t want to go to work tonight, although we got a new lottery machine! SWEET!!!!
I am very sore from volleyball.
My back hurts.
I need a chiropractor.
Our first game is Monday night against Plato.
We better win!
Hopefully this will be a good season.
I want to take a nap!
I had to be at practice at six this morning.
Ugh…..
I want a vault. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……vault!
I need to deposit my paycheck before it gets lost in the depths of my car.
My car isn’t that dirty.
But I guess I should clean it before tomorrow.
Both Lindsey and Amber told me they were surprised I didn’t have mice in my car.
I don’t think it is that bad.
Although, there is the crunchy part of crab Rangoon on the floor.
Mmmmmmmmm…..crab Rangoon!
I need to do my summer journals.
That is a fact.
September 4, 2007
All I want for Christmas is knee replacement surgery.
My knee hurts.
I believe I injured it in volleyball.
It swelled up and had a bunch of fluid in it over the weekend.
It’s a dull throbbing pain.
I worked too much over the three day weekend.
I didn’t really get to enjoy it.
I worked 27 hours.
4 on Friday, 7 on Saturday, 8 on Sunday, and 8 on Monday
It sucked.
I was exhausted Saturday night.
I partied hard that night!!!
Not really…
I fell asleep at 8:30.
I had to be at work at 7am on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday!
Ugh…..
That’s all I have to say about that!I almost have my summer journals done! WOOT!
I have moved up to Crew boss on mobsters! This excites me! Watch out coach Daugherty!
I need to write my essay for Bev.
What is up with this?
I never have homework in Bev’s class!!!I need to clean my room.
There is no time to clean my room, so it will stay a mess.
Everything that was in my old car is now on the floor of my room.
If you know me, you understand what that means.
I can barely walk through my room!lol
Mike at work told me I should take a year off before I go to college and become deli manager at Town and Country.
No thanks Mike, I have plans for my future and that doesn’t include working at Town and Country til I die.
I didn’t play the lottery at all yesterday!
But I did on Saturday and Sunday…
I lost.
I cried.
Not really.
I want to go to the river.
I like swimming.
This weekend I was the queen of saying things that didn’t come out right and they sounded bad.
Lindsey came over and we were watching the Simpsons in my room and I heard the shower start and I said “Oh it must be family shower time!”
That sounded wrong.
What I meant was that my brother was taking his shower then my step brother would take his and then my step sister after that.
Lindsey didn’t help the situation.
She said “Do you need to go?”I died laughing
Major ROTFL
I love acronyms! Lol
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Search is Over!
Yesterday I was able to get off work so my mom and I could go to Springfield and look at cars. I was really excited, although I didn't think we would buy one. My car just hit 100,000 miles so if I was going to get rid of it I had to do something about it soon. So we spent our day scouring the city of Springfield for a new vehicle. We stopped in Rogersville on our way to Springfield and found out that they would buy my car for somewhere between 3000 and 3500 dollars no matter if I was trading in for another car or not. I was pumped because my car blue books at $3400. So that would mean I would get what it was worth. Well mom told them we would get back to them if that's what we decided to do and we continued on our journey.
When we got to Springfield we went to the Reliable Toyota lot and they acted like they didn't even care or want to help us. So we went to another car lot. After a couple of car lots I was starting to get a little discouraged because I hadn't seen anything that I really liked. But then we pulled into the Metro Motors lot and I saw it. It was a beautiful 2003 Honda Civic. I told mom I was in love before I even got to inspect it up close. We looked at it closely and it was just as good on the inside as it was on the outside. But I knew it was going to be expensive being an '03 and it only had 38,000 miles on it. So we asked Ray the salesman the price, who acted kind of nervous. He acted as if we were his first customer ever, but he was nice nonetheless. He said $13,595 and my hopes were crushed. I had been looking in the $5000 to $7000 range not $13,000!!!! But then mom says we don't have to write it off entirely. This salvaged some of my hope. We then left without test driving the car to go eat and look at other lots. After about another two hours of searching, the Civic was all I could think about. I loved that car. So mom said that we should go test drive it. We went back and told Ray we were ready to take it for a spin and off we went. It drove perfectly. I loved it even more. So when we got back mom said that we should see what they will give me for my car and see what the payments would look like. I was so thrilled. She was actually considering this car! After looking at the car, the business manager told us he would give us $2700 for my car. My mom was looked at me and the told the guy that we were offered in the $3000s for it. Then the guy went outside and looked at my car again and came back in and said the standard "we really want your business so here's what I will do" line and then he offered to give the $3595 for my car and make the difference an even $10,000. I was excited! That was an awesome deal. Mom said okay but what will the payments look like? After some figuring the Ray told us that they would likely be around $214 a month. That would be a huge stretch for me. Right now I only earn $80 a week because of volleyball. I was hoping for somewhere in the $160-$180 range. Then mom told Ray that we needed to think about it. We left and went to the Target parking lot where mom called my stepdad and he said it was up to me...the car blue booked at $14,200 so it was a good deal. I told mom it was the hardest decision of my life because that would mean for the next five years I would struggle every month to meet the $214 mark plus pay for insurance and gas! I said I really want that car but I just don't know. Then mom, being the exceptional lady that she is says "Student loans are cheaper than car loans...how about I take $3000 that I have saved and put it down on the car. That would make the payment where you want it." I could have shouted I was so happy! I was going to get my car!!! So we went back and told Ray the news and he completely agreed that my payment will be way better. Although I didnt get to drive my new car home because mom has to bring the title to my car and exchange with them and give them the $3000, I am so excited! She is going back up to Springfield tomorrow and getting my car. It will be here when I get back from my volleyball game in Plato. I fully believe God led me to the right car, because everything worked out so perfectly. Even though I do have an emotional attachment to the car I have now, I am excited that I don't have to worry if my car will die on me! I will definitely take good care of this car!
When we got to Springfield we went to the Reliable Toyota lot and they acted like they didn't even care or want to help us. So we went to another car lot. After a couple of car lots I was starting to get a little discouraged because I hadn't seen anything that I really liked. But then we pulled into the Metro Motors lot and I saw it. It was a beautiful 2003 Honda Civic. I told mom I was in love before I even got to inspect it up close. We looked at it closely and it was just as good on the inside as it was on the outside. But I knew it was going to be expensive being an '03 and it only had 38,000 miles on it. So we asked Ray the salesman the price, who acted kind of nervous. He acted as if we were his first customer ever, but he was nice nonetheless. He said $13,595 and my hopes were crushed. I had been looking in the $5000 to $7000 range not $13,000!!!! But then mom says we don't have to write it off entirely. This salvaged some of my hope. We then left without test driving the car to go eat and look at other lots. After about another two hours of searching, the Civic was all I could think about. I loved that car. So mom said that we should go test drive it. We went back and told Ray we were ready to take it for a spin and off we went. It drove perfectly. I loved it even more. So when we got back mom said that we should see what they will give me for my car and see what the payments would look like. I was so thrilled. She was actually considering this car! After looking at the car, the business manager told us he would give us $2700 for my car. My mom was looked at me and the told the guy that we were offered in the $3000s for it. Then the guy went outside and looked at my car again and came back in and said the standard "we really want your business so here's what I will do" line and then he offered to give the $3595 for my car and make the difference an even $10,000. I was excited! That was an awesome deal. Mom said okay but what will the payments look like? After some figuring the Ray told us that they would likely be around $214 a month. That would be a huge stretch for me. Right now I only earn $80 a week because of volleyball. I was hoping for somewhere in the $160-$180 range. Then mom told Ray that we needed to think about it. We left and went to the Target parking lot where mom called my stepdad and he said it was up to me...the car blue booked at $14,200 so it was a good deal. I told mom it was the hardest decision of my life because that would mean for the next five years I would struggle every month to meet the $214 mark plus pay for insurance and gas! I said I really want that car but I just don't know. Then mom, being the exceptional lady that she is says "Student loans are cheaper than car loans...how about I take $3000 that I have saved and put it down on the car. That would make the payment where you want it." I could have shouted I was so happy! I was going to get my car!!! So we went back and told Ray the news and he completely agreed that my payment will be way better. Although I didnt get to drive my new car home because mom has to bring the title to my car and exchange with them and give them the $3000, I am so excited! She is going back up to Springfield tomorrow and getting my car. It will be here when I get back from my volleyball game in Plato. I fully believe God led me to the right car, because everything worked out so perfectly. Even though I do have an emotional attachment to the car I have now, I am excited that I don't have to worry if my car will die on me! I will definitely take good care of this car!
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